Benefits of Emotional & Relational Intelligence

Everyone wants to be successful.  Everyone wants to be happy.

For many years the conventional wisdom was that a high IO was the key to success. However, after years of research it became clear that while a high IQ is important and valuable, it is not the key predictor of success.  That led to the question, if not IQ, then what?

Further research identified a group of competencies, initially labeled Emotional Intelligence (EQ), that were more essential to and predictive of success than IQ.  Additional research gave us an even more accurate picture.

Researches found that what had initially put in the EQ bucket, was really a combination of two different sets of competencies—an emotional or INTRA-personal (EQ) intelligence, and a social/relational or INTER-personal (RQ) intelligence.

To make it easier to remember the two groups of competencies that are most predictive personal and professional success, we simply combined EQ and RQ to form ERI.  It’s become an easy way to remember that both the intrapersonal (EQ) and the interpersonal (RQ) skills are essential for healthy relationships.

Why is ERI important?

For many years we’ve known that as go our ability to establish and maintain healthy relationships, so goes every other part of our lives.  It doesn’t matter whether it involves our personal or professional lives, healthy relationships are the key to short and long-term effectiveness and success.  Healthy relationships are the key to physical health and happiness.  At the end of our lives our success is best measured by the quality of our relationships . . . our marriages, families and friends.

As one results of many years of research, we now know that our ability to “do” relationships well depends on our awareness of our emotions and our ability to manage those emotions.  The emotional

What are some of the benefits of ERI training?

  • People who have a higher ERI, who have developed specific ERI competencies are better able to:
  • Recognize their own emotions
  • Know which emotion they are feeling and why.
  • Understand how their emotions affect their relationships and their performance.
  • Better able to keep their emotions from hijacking their ability to make sound decisions.
  • Understand the three main causes of anger, making them less likely to react and more likely to respond to a challenging situation.
  • How to make their anger work FOR them rather than against them.
  • Eliminate many of the unnecessary and avoidable conflicts in their lives.
  • Understand the importance of empathy and use it in all of their relationships
  • Understand what makes for effective communication.
  • Have more communication tools to use in a variety of situations.
  • Understand the value of healthy conflict.
  • Have more “conflict management” skills in their relational tool-kit.
  • Learn from their mistakes and failures and avoid repeating them.
  • Minimize self-defeating and conflict-causing reactions.
  • Identify the trigger-words and emotionally sensitive situations that can push their buttons.


“Whether it is a matter of closing a deal or asking for a raise, of motivating a sales force of 5,000 or negotiating one to one, of buying a new company or turning around an old one, business situations almost always come down to people situations. And it is those executives with a finely tuned people sense, and an awareness of how to apply it, who invariably take the edge.”     

(Mark McCormack, author of ‘What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School’)

“In the fields I have studied, emotional intelligence I much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader. IQ is a threshold competence. You need it, but it doesn’t make you a star. Emotional Intelligence can.”     

(Warren Bennis, Leadership Pioneer, Author and Researcher)
Gary J. Oliver, ThM, PhD
Executive Director at Center for Healthy Relationships | + posts

Dr. Oliver is the Executive Director of The Center for Healthy Relationships, and professor of Psychology and Practical Theology at John Brown University.  He has authored over 20 books and more than 350 professional and popular articles.  Dr. Oliver has over 40 years’ experience as a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage  & Family Therapist and Spiritual Director.  He leads seminars & workshops both nationally and internationally on a variety of counseling-related issues, healthy relationships as well as Emotional & Relational Intelligence (ERI).

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