Photo by DNK.PHOTO on Unsplash
Photo by DNK.PHOTO on Unsplash

Non-believer Spouse


My husband and I weren’t Christians when we married. But I'm a Christian now, and he isn’t. He doesn’t like that I believe in God. I’d love for my husband to accept Jesus. What should I do?


Many have walked this path before you and many have seen their spouse, over time, give their life to Jesus. When someone becomes a Christian, their enthusiasm can cause them to say and do things, with the best of intentions, that can alienate and offend those they love most. Rather than seeing Christ in their spouse, the unbelieving partners see someone who, before Christ, loved them the way they were but now will only really love them, as they see it, if they convert.

While being married to an unbelieving spouse can be a long and discouraging road, it doesn’t have to be a lonely one. Get into a women’s Bible study so you can be encouraged by other godly women, solicit their prayers on your behalf, and find a woman who can mentor you in this part of your journey. She can help you be more objective in finding ways to reflect and model Christ to your husband.

God has given you a unique opportunity to live as Christ to your husband. But also God has given you a profound laboratory to learn how to love your husband with the unconditional love that characterizes God’s love for you. Scripture even gives you great hope in this area: “Wives. . . accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior” (1 Peter 3:1-2, NLT).

Gary J. Oliver, ThM, PhD
Executive Director at Center for Healthy Relationships | + posts

Dr. Oliver is the Executive Director of The Center for Healthy Relationships, and professor of Psychology and Practical Theology at John Brown University.  He has authored over 20 books and more than 350 professional and popular articles.  Dr. Oliver has over 40 years’ experience as a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage  & Family Therapist and Spiritual Director.  He leads seminars & workshops both nationally and internationally on a variety of counseling-related issues, healthy relationships as well as Emotional & Relational Intelligence (ERI).

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