Red Flags

Are you dating or in a serious dating relationship? If so, did you know that when your heart is heavily involved you might miss some red flags regarding your relationship?

Consider the following:

  • Perhaps he’s/she’s not what you’re looking for spiritually. But you think, The Lord could really do wonders with him/her.
  • Perhaps his/her ambition and drive to get ahead is a bit lacking. (That’s an understatement.) But he’s/she’s just waiting for the right opportunity to come along.
  • Perhaps the person you are dating has emotional outbursts a bit too often for you. But you think you will be able to help him/her get a handle on that anger and depression eventually. It doesn’t matter that his/her friends tell you the mood swings have always been there and are getting more intense as the years go by.
  • Perhaps the way the person you are dating eyes the opposite sex doesn’t seem to reflect the depth of your relationship. But once you’re committed, he’ll/she’ll only have eyes for you and no one else.
  • Perhaps the way he/she handles his/her finances is a bit scary, especially with all those credit cards maxed out. But you think, I’m sure he’ll/she’ll learn responsibility once we’re married.
  • Perhaps he/she doesn’t communicate very much or share with you on an emotional level. But you rationalize, who would, coming out of that abusive, alcoholic, dysfunctional background? You’ve met his/her parents and in time you expect to fill in all those gaps for your partner and he’ll become a whole person.
  • Perhaps the reason he/she has jumped from relationship to relationship is that no one has ever really cared for him/her enough, been truly accepting of him/her, or encouraged him/her to grow spiritually. You think that: Getting him involved in my church and Bible study should make a difference.

~Adapted from: Wright, H. N. (2004). 101 questions to ask before you get engaged. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers

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